Update on Yakuza and Dating Japanese men

The Yakuza really isnt that scary. In fact, if your a black or white foreigner, they generally enjoy talking to you. But if you're a asian foreigner, you might be a bit unwelcome.

I have needed to enlist the help of the Yakuza due to some crazy incident, I cant get into it now. But I realized, I shouldnt be afraid of them. Better to be their friend than an enemy.

The Yakuza isnt some secret society in Japan. In fact, they have offices you can just walk into. lol. But most people dont. for some reason, the police never go after them either when they do shit. So they are openly out there and feared. oh well.

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As for Japanese men cheating on their wives, the wives also play some part in their infidelity. So its really their own fault if they cant keep a man whipped or tamed for a while so he doesnt cheat 'as often'... I know a guy who cheats as much as possible, at least 2 or 3 different women per week. crazy.

The wives stop having sex with their husband, so they have to find other women. i heard the wives just get married to trap them, like for money and a stable life. Have a kid or 2, and then stop fucking them period. Then can just use them for money and child support, dont allow them to have another girlfriend either even when they stop fucking them for years. I know another guy who hasnt had sex with his wife for 6 years. and he's supposed to pretend he's ok and happy. and he cant have another girlfriend either. (but of course he cheats) I know like 4 or 5 guys like this, who havent had sex for the wife in years because their wife 'doesnt like sex.' lol.

i think they are actually naive enough to think that the husband will stay faithful all them years too, of no sex. they'd be doing themselves a favor to fuck him more often. and spice it up a bit, be exotic every once in a while so he's not out looking for others everyday...

I know the game. marriage with japanese women=sexless mariage. you didnt know this beforehand, before you married? hahaha... just ask any japanese man... I know about 5 or 6 or them married, and having another mistress as well. I dont blame them that much...

But these guys know their fathers cheated on their mothers as well. So I'm surprised they settled down, period. Better to play the field, adopt and be a single father if you want a child. So some lady isnt using up all your money and have financial attachment forever. At least you can spend money on a kid thats only yours.

maybe the wives pretend they like sex in the beginning, and then be like yeahhhh lets have a baby... he thinks the love life will continue after the baby, and it never does. lol.

Thanksgiving in Japan

If you are living overseas, and missing your favorite holiday foods, you need to either improvise or have something sent over your home country/order online.

I have been wanting some velvetta cheesy macaroni and some instant stuffing, and cranberry sauce. So my aunt was supposed to be mailing that stuff to me, as well as some Chocolate Lucky Charms. I love those things.

Well it was taking a bit too long to arrive. And I realized/remembered that instant things didnt always exist around here. So I headed out to the super market to get ingrediants and make everything from stratch.


This picture is just basic, but I could have made a whole dinner with turkey and corn, sweet potatoes, etc..


I made stuffing with lots of nice seasonings. And I made original chesse sauce for my pasta. I used milk and cheeses- orange kraft, and some japanese white cheese. It was delicious.

As for cranberry sauce, I was going to make that original too. But I had a ton of blueberries in my home that I needed to eat before they go bad. So I made original blueberry sauce instead. It was pretty delicious.


Im still waiting for my instant food to arrive in the mail. But finally when I had a little time on my hands, it wasnt difficult to find ingredients and make everything from stratch. :)

Money troubles

Recently I worked as a hostess before in Okachimachi... everything was fine for a while, until I didnt accept some demands by the owner (moving all the way to odawara just to work at his other club, and less pay than okachimachi as well, lol, and he wasnt paying my moving cost, apartment, etc.. ), so they let me go. They didnt pay me my full salary either. I was expecting at least 250,000 yen for october. They gave me 80,000 yen. i barely had enough for rent (60,000 yen per month) and bills (electricity, gas, NHI, etc). Let alone any money left for my baby things, food, transportation money job interviews(I was looking for full-time day time work, and have since acquired one, but it wont start until a few weeks laters).

I also think the owner were related to yakuza, so I dont know if I can really fight them. Even if i report them, or want to sue them, those people have my information, like address from my alien registration card.. . Many illegal russians or romanians work there, like slaves. Because He pay their ticket over here to Japan. Maybe something similar happens to them, but at least they are alone by themselves. I have to struggle with a baby. The legal people who worked for him, that have permanent residence, cant leave. They borrowed big money from him to send to their home countries. He doesnt allow them to have day time job either, even though they have their own visas. And, they dont make enough money to pay him back, just enough to pay their rent and live for the month. How can they pay him back? They wont for a while if they cant have another source of income. He has a permanent hold on them...


I tried to do 1 day temporary jobs too, but the agency said only citizens or permanent residents can use that services, and other visa holders can not-- even spouse of japanese/child of japanese or long term resident. i could understand if people with a work visa, not allowed to use temporary job services. but for people who have visas with no restriction on work, I was suprised to learn it.



For now I just work again at hostess club, in Ginza.. the owner also own some ginza hotels, so he's classy rich from real business and family inheritance, not like yakuza guy who has bad temper and want to treat people bad, and only rich from selling drugs, prostitution, etc.

The Ginza guy only hire legal peoples like permanent resident or marriage visa too. They are really strict about business and money.. and have real paperwork. so. i shouldnt have anymore problem about a salary.. if so, i can just report them for not paying me or whatever it is.


I went to interview before working both of these clubs and I definitely know the difference now between classy places and yakuza places. I know what to look for now. when i went to interview in ginza, the guys were dressed really nice. and had a good face, like calm face. The okachimachi people, they wear pants and white shirt with a tie, but their faces were tired, like maybe from stress or having a rough time.



Kyouka's father disappeared sometime during my pregnancy... and he hasnt been returning my emails or calling me. so far. Usually i dont think about him at all and Im rather cool and collected about my situation and single motherhood. But I guess my recent financial crisis sent some shockwaves... At one point, I even had only 200 yen for a few days, and didnt take a train or eat anything. That was scary... I was thinking Im gonna have to steal food and bust train gates.. get coaught.. go to jail... lol.

last night, I randomly had a dream about him, and I was thinking, I should stalk the places where he used to go to see if I can catch him around. He moved, and I dont know if he still lives in shinjuku or not.. but maybe I need to stalk around that area..

but yeah, next time I see him, Im just gonna run up and kill him, no need to give warning or ask why he's disappeared and not helping me take care of his kid. I could be suffering a lot less financially if he would help, to at least buy the baby things.

so far, all the jap guys i know are no good. I've mentioned before that I know 5 guys already married with kids and also have mistress. even 1 of them, having wonderful relationship with their wife, no fights, playful, best friends..., but he has sex with wife and his mistress.

I'm looking for the single guy who can 'help' a little, financially, to take care of me and my daughter one day... the married ones who want want me, are useless to me. They cant help me with money cuz they gotta pay their own rent and wife's shit, and kids's shit. All they want is sex. sex isnt gonna pay my bills or put food on my table.

Fast food, USA vs Japan

Of course we have the typical chains.. Mcdonalds, Burger king, Pizza hut, Dominoes, etc.

But there seems to be some differences in what I like here, verses in the U.S.

Mcdonalds--

In Japan, I could eat Mcdonalds everyday. I dont know what it is, but the fries are delicious, and taste healthier. Then of course, there are tons of other things you will find on their menu thats not in the USA.

In America, Maybe I can eat mcdonalds once every few months. lol.


Burger king-- I prefer America for this one. I love their fries, its crispy/crunchy. And better tasting burger. I had burger king in japan... and the fries were string fries, and barely seasoned... it tasted like something I could buy from the grocery store in the frozen section. But of course, if I cook it myself, its gonna taste better. And it was also expensive at Burger King in Japan. So totally not worth the money.

If you want to dish out the same amount of cash, eat at Mos Burger-- Japanese fine dining burger joint. lol. I absolutely love this place, but I totally couldn't afford to eat there everyday like I could at Mcdonalds. Mickey Ds has a dollar menu.

Then there is pizza.. I had dominoes here, and they have tons of weird pizzas I havent tried yet, such as squid with egg and mayonaise. I stick with what I know.. something basic like Pepperoni. Their pepperoni pizza is called American Classic. and it also comes with onions on it. I dont like onions so much, and there was less cheese as well. And taste different. The botton of the pizza wasnt brown and smooth like you find in the U.S. It was more crispy golden, like pizza hut.

One of their pizzas were double cheese, mozzerella, and pepperoni. That was delicious. A bit expensive though.

I havent tried Pizza hut Japan at all yet. But basically the same menus and same prices.


Japan has their own pizza chains as well, which I havent tried and other burget joints like Lotteria or another.. havent tried.


Oh they have wendy's too. Pretty much the same price and same taste as in the U.S.

Dating as a single mom

After I arrived to Japan, me and my baby were famous. Its rather funny. Old ladies and even high school boys (lol) always want to play with the baby, or random people surrounding us on the train talking about how cute she is. After we were surrounded on the train, I noticed everyone else on the train started looking in our direction to see what the commotion was, and who the celebrities were that entered. HAHA.

At first, I thought I might have some problems dating here as a single mother... but that hasnt been the case at all. If fact, many guys use my baby as an EXCUSE to talk to me.. They will comment on how cute she is, and then they will start flirting with me or something. Japanese guys are shy, I thought. But some are really forward to even talk to me when Im out with the baby. They dont even ask if I was taken or married already. Or dont even seem to care.

So far, I know about 5 Japanese men who are married with kids, but have mistresses too.
It doesnt matter if the relationship with the wife is good or not. One guy I know has 8 month old baby and wonderful relationship with wife. but He has sex with wife and the mistress.

I heard, Japanese men need 2 women. 1 to be the mother of their kids, and the other to have fun with.

I have all of these guys after me, but they are married already and have other financial commitments, so cant help me. Im not interested in being a mistress. Some of them even want a serious relationship with me. I said hell no because I will not live a secret life forever. They could never meet my friends or family. I could never meet their friends or family. We couldnt even go out often. The relationship would be basically sex in my apartment since they live with wifey. Why would I want to live secretly in a relationship like that, and he didnt want me to have another boyfriend either. Guess he wantto feel powerful, but no, you cannot rule me sir.

They also cant help me financially, so they are pretty useless to me. I dont need a sex friend. If Im getting a sex friend, they better be handing out money and helping me financially.

I dont hold too much stock in Japanese men. I look at all of them as cheaters,. haha. When im walking down the street, I just know... 'they totally have some other mistress'.

I could never marry Japanese for a serious love relationship. I think if I marry Japanese, they better be rich, cuz I already know he's gonna have some other mistress. At least I can control some of that salary.

Its the common thing here to have mistresses, but I think people just pretend like no one has a mistress and pretend to be in happy marriages. I wonder if men tell their friends about the mistresses and say 'oh! i have one too'.. maybe guy friends go out on dates together with their mistresses instead of the wives. lol.

Im looking for the single man who can take me and my daughter as their own. I wanted Japanese, because my daughter is half, and she could have some kind of link to her heritage, and someone to talk to her in another native language. But I know, It wont be a honest relationship if its with a Japanese. I dont mind them cheating if we are having problems, and also I will have another boyfriend then. But you know, cheating on the wife even when you have wonderful relationship together, no fights, laughing all the time, like best friends...? Scary.

Well Im definitely not picky about men I date of course. I date many different races, white, black, hispanic, etc.

I also speak fluent spanish. My japanese was never up-to-par staying in the USA. So I moved here to finally become fluent as well. and I hope to use Japanese in my work in the future.

Im not particularly christian or any religion (maybe Zen buddhist if you really wanna label me) but if I will date japanese, it might be better to find a christian man. He might be a little bit more honest in the dating department. I think 7-day Adventist is the strictest. lol

The start of a new life

I went to Japan right after I finished all my finals and departed May 24, 2009. My ticket was $700 round trip for 3 months. And I bought the ticket like 2 weeks before I decided to leave. It was a last minute decision.

I was going to take summer classes instead, but thank goodness I didn't, or my beautiful child wouldn't be here today. :-)

The purpose of the trip was to catch up with my friends, and also teach English in a elementary school! I went to Okishima Island, which is located on Biwa Lake in Japan. Most people don't know that an Island even exists there. It ha a population of about 500 people, but seems to be declining over the years, as the children grow older and don't want to be traditional fisherman, and getting more office jobs on the mainland.

I stayed in Shiga Prefecture mainland, and took a boat to the Island every day. On weekends, I went to Osaka, or Tokyo to party. :) One time I was in Tokyo and decided I would stay at a friend's house that night.

Well I missed the last train, so I stayed around in Shinjuku. Some really tall handsome guy came up to me, and talked to me. He was the most direct Japanese guy I had ever met. Most guys are really shy and definitely wouldn't hit on a foreigner unless I made the first move. I guess he didn't want me to get away.

We introduced ourselves and he invited me to an Izakaya. We talked about our lives, and our preferences for men or women. We even played drinking games, and I learned the Yamanote-Sen game. I lost in the end, but he said I was really good, and asked how I knew all of those stations.

I ride the Yamanote Line all the time in circles, for hours if I'm trying to pass the time. Of course I know the names. lol. I also cheated a little bit.

Time went by, eventually we did the deed. I must admit that this guy is the best I have ever had. And the only guy who has ever been able to make me pregnant.

I seriously thought I wasn't able to have kids, so if this was the only chance, then of course I was keeping it.

He didn't want a baby, so he didn't talk to me again and we went out separate ways.

I figured I would be fine as a single mom, people do it all the time, so I planned everything for her arrival.

She was born March 10, 2010 weighing 7lbs 5oz, and 19 & 1/2 inches length.

She also has a Japanese name. I plan to live in Japan one day so that she will have that experience and know the cultural customs of her other heritage as well.

This is my journey as a single mom of a Blasian daughter, living in Japan.